For three decades, I witnessed other people pointing at me saying, "You don't want to be like her." The horrifying trauma of one murder, one suspicious death, one suicide, and watching the woman I adored my whole life take her last breath, after feeling like I lost my mind completely, I continued to allow Satan to keep me in a whirlwind of a degrading and sad and embarrassing lifestyle. But because of my church upbringing, it forced me to seek three different therapists who helped change my life. I hope this memoir is an invitation to anyone who feels they are not good enough, pretty enough, godly enough, or not doing enough. God bless.