This book was originally titled 'The Despairationist'. It is a collection of experiences, hopes and more following a choice of demise - suicide'. Gratefully I live to tell the narrative of strength and survival. I want to tie loose ends to this tragic era. I would like to personally thank you for helping me find the pieces I thought I had lost. Broken record personifies the silhouette I walked for a long time. Being broken, a series of true events shackled me to a single thought of escape - suicide. Some of those true events still linger, they remain a treasured path to my growth as I have cleansed myself of others and made peace with their demons. Broken - a combination of memories and hopes I tried my utmost best to glue back together. Alike trust, once broken it is hard to repair and takes years. At a time of immense hopelessness, writing was my secret sanctuary to dwell and cry. Writing was a performance and I felt like a magician, I could write about anything and felt inner peace for moments at a time. As I spoke through my writings, certain memories felt like illusions and I became stronger. I have aspired to be a magician in many talents. Supporting my personal growth in being confidence, accepting others and overcoming teaching situations.I hope you will resonate with my writings, love and cherish each of these lines I have. Each piece is perfected to avoid unnecessary vulgarity, I want everyone to be able to take something from these writes without being put off. I regard to writing as a sanctuary of dreams, as I write. I dream of a better tomorrow, a fresh start and I make peace with today. I write to love someone out there and heal something inside of me; I hope that I can love through these writes and help heal someone out there.